Sunday, January 22, 2012

Seasons & Shifting Sacrifices

Ecclesiastes 3:1

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.

Its ironic that the last post was about spending time with Brent and the sacrifices we make as a family for me to be a "stay at home mom". It is ironic because that is a "season" in our lives. And that exact season has changed in some positive ways since that post. The leaves are turning greener and the flowers are starting to bloom :)

Being a stay at home mom has been full of joy, disappointment, revelations, personal growth, and sacrifice.
It is an incredible life journey of discovery and one of the greatest blessings in my life.

Growing up I always knew I wanted to stay at home while my children were babies if I were able to. 5 years. That's all I really have with them at home. After that its off to school, college, careers, and one day their own family (in theory that is the "order"). I am learning what an interesting sacrifice it is turning out to be in some ways. Here a few things we have been willing to sacrifice for me to stay at home. Some I assumed and some smacked me on the back of the head..

Budget/Money- I assumed this one. We are very blessed and well taken care of, but we Definitely have to stick to a budget. There are many material things that we would love that just have to wait.

Personal Time- This was a total shock. Neither of us realized how much personal time (time to work out, time to be with friends, time for hobbies, naps, movies, ANYTHING) we would have to sacrifice for Brent working (SO much) and me staying at home (SO much) to raise 2 baby humans .

Relationship Time- yep. This one was rude. I wasn't prepared to sacrifice time With Brent.

Daddy Time- Rude again. I wasn't prepared ENOUGH to understand this sacrifice. Brent working so much means he isn't home. Typical day- Stone wakes up, Daddy is at work. Stone plays during the day, Daddy's at work. Stone goes to bed, Daddy's at work. Stone is asleep, Daddy is at home :(

THIS sacrifice is where we finally drew the line.

As a person making a sacrifice is painful. As a parent it is a privilege.

I will gladly sacrifice my life for our children, even the most selfish parts of who I am. And Brent feels the same way. These sacrifices are things we were willing to give up for a season. Season's change.

Here is the Exciting part for our family

ONE SHIFT CHANGE. That's it. That's all it took. The wintry (daddy gone ALL the time) season we have been in for several years now is beginning to change. Brent changed his shift at the police department.

We have shifted sacrifices. We still have sacrifices. They are just different. The benefits out way the sacrifice by a landslide. Life is all about sacrifice, I believe. It's choosing what you are willing to live with- what IS worth giving up (time, money, emotions, goals, dreams, expectations, for an example), and what you're willing to live with out- what isn't worth giving up for a particular outcome.

Brent is now home when Stone wakes up in the morning. Brent is sleeping, but he is home. Stone runs in every morning to say good morning and love on him for a few minutes. Brent doesn't mind being woke up for this. Landslide benefit. Brent is also home all day on the weekends and for several hours in the evening on weekdays, even when Stone goes to bed! This is the MOST time consistently that Brent and Stone (and Sylas for that matter) have ever spent together. THIS IS HUGE!

Stone is a sensitive spirit. Brent being gone so much effected him in ways we weren't willing to sacrifice any longer. Stone's emotional well being and bond with his Daddy are Not sacrificial. They are priority.

Brent and I have made our own personal sacrifices, again, to make his schedule work. They are different. And we are learning to live with them, but they are having really awesome benefits. Which I will write about in posts to come.

If I am able to read this post in a year, 10 years, or 50 it will be bittersweet, I'm sure. Time. Love. Sacrifice. Change. Seasons. Life. all but a vapor in the wind *James 4:14


  1. Stay at home mommying is definately harder than I thought it would be, though at her age most of our time is spent snuggling, which is just fine with me. I'm glad he got to change shifts. I know that Chad hates the times he can't be home to spend time with ava, and I know it must be much harder when the babies are old enough to miss them.

    And by the way, you have the two most beautiful little boys!! seriously, between you and ashley, it looks like the next generation of disney channel stars. haha.

  2. Oh my word! You guys, this is awesome! I'm sooooo happy that Brent got a shift change. Praise the Lord!